Elizabeth Spiers recently wrote a sharp NY Times OpEd piece about OpenClaw — a new open source project that lets any person build AI agents that operate in the world on your behalf. If you are like me, the idea alone triggers lots of feels as well as ideas, a wave of endless scenarios to imagine. And I’m sure even more change is coming before I process this one.

But even if today’s tool du-jour is old news by the time you read this, the shift it represents isn’t: widely accessible AI is evolving from advisory (you ask, it answers) to agentic (you set goals and parameters, and off it goes, acting autonomously).

To me, and to Spiers it seems, this feels like a tangled, if not dubious leap forward.

With technology advancing this fast, it’s hard to know how to support ourselves, let alone the kids we love. The lessons we need to teach go far beyond how to use any given tool, or where using AI to finish a homework assignment flirts with plagiarism.

As parents and educators, we’re faced with bigger, more fundamental questions—questions about how to be in relationship with artificial intelligence. And that’s not just in the forms it takes today, but in all the incarnations we’ll see as it and we humans continue to evolve.

So. Many. Questions.

How do kids use AI to help them grow, discover, and create, while staying in the lead of their own thinking and feeling? How can they truly delight in what AI can help them imagine, and yet steel themselves against what’s so dangerous about deep fakes?

How do kids interact with AI that increasingly understands and caters to our human emotions, and how will they be able to identify when that’s helping them connect more deeply with themselves, or when it’s dulling their sense of self? When and how could AI help them navigate human interactions, and when and how could it steadily erode their connections with others? And, how do frictionless interactions with AI “companions” disrupt the essential social growth that comes from the productive friction of real human relationships?

At the heart of it all: what does it mean to stay healthy and human as AI bleeds into our lives more and more?

My conclusion: I’m not entirely sure. But my hope for all of us is that we’ll find the wherewithal to slow down and explore this together instead of waiting to ask the AI what to do once it’s all gone too far. And, even though we’re building this plane while we fly it, a few guideposts are coming into clarity.

Kids as co-pilots

“Tell me, and I forget. Teach me, and I remember. Involve me, and I learn.” —Benjamin Franklin

Humans learn better when they’re in the driver’s seat. This feels especially true when it comes to something as dynamic as AI.

If we want kids to develop both genuine enthusiasm and healthy skepticism, they’ll need to feel both motivated and safely able to explore AI and discover the fault lines for themselves. Attempts on our part to overhype or to over warn will be sniffed out quickly by our savvier-than-we-think friends…and are likely to backfire. And, if we don’t give them the reins, we also communicate that they are not capable. As Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop urge, we need kids to “build agency over the tech, not just agility with what it offers.”

Plus, kids have expertise worthy of respecting and leveraging in this process. They are already encountering AI in many forms when we’re nowhere around, and our Gen Alpha friends carry a digital native’s perspective that most of us Gen X/Millenial parents and caregivers will never have.

Kids have already amassed a wide range of experiences and impressions. These range from how peers use ChatGPT to “get through assignments” to positive experiences in which the same tool made it possible to put something tricky into words. Kids delight in some AI generated content and lament how “AI Slop” is flooding their worlds. In short, they know more than we think they know.

Where to start

To start, work together with kids to establish a shared understanding of what AI is, how it works, and how it’s evolving. I don’t recommend drinking from the firehose of hourly commentary. That’s sure to overwhelm all involved. Instead, try finding agreement around some basics.

Get your own background. Before working with my family, I found it helpful to get my own sense of how kids are approaching AI. A recent Pew Research study of teens provides some nice, broad strokes, like: a majority of teens are using chat bots, but they’re doing so for a range of reasons, most commonly for school and information gathering. Older “young people” can also be great sources, like in this “What Young People Wish Adults Knew” from The Rithm Project. If you, like me, are curious (and concerned) about AI companions and kids, The Rithm team also just posted a nuanced look into how kids are actually using AI bots as companions.

Start with what your kids–and you–already know. Unpacking what you already know is engaging, illuminating, and a great way to avoid frustration (especially for kids). Try what one sixth-grade teacher does: ask yourself and your kids to write responses to two prompts — “I think AI is interesting because …” and “I’m worried about AI because …” Then, share your responses with each other. For a fun twist, pause to predict what the other will say before you share.

Fill in the gaps together. The Family Resources from DayofAI.org, developed in partnership with Common Sense Media, offer a great way to establish common understanding for families, including three videos, each with a guide and discussion prompts.

A few tips:

• Ask kids what they think each video will be about before watching.

• Have everyone generate two or three questions as they watch. Listening for questions can increase attention and boost curiosity (a superpower!).

• For teens who are already active AI users, try The Rithm Project’s AI Effect card game to spark rich, thought-provoking conversation about how AI can support and erode our human connections.

• Serve ice cream for all.

Curiosity at the core

“The most vital and significant factor of learning…is, without doubt, curiosity.” —John Dewey

At the heart of what makes us human — and what will help us build a healthy relationship with other forms of intelligence — is our curiosity. Asking questions at every turn and remaining curious may just be the most important habit we can help kids form.

This includes the questions media literacy experts like Renée Hobbs, founder of the Media Education Lab, have been teaching for decades like: Who created this (message or tool)? What creative techniques are used to attract my attention? How is it designed to impact how I think and feel?

It also helps to encourage kids to ask questions that reinforce their own goals and agency. Before, during, and after interacting with AI, try asking:

• What am I trying to do or learn?

• How can AI help me do that?

• What role will I play, and how can I steer this process?

• How would working with another person be different? better?

• Is using an AI for this worth the environmental cost? (It’s so easy to forget to be mindful of that, too).

The goal need not be either enthusiasm or skepticism. Instead, be open to what is wonderful; slow down, tune in, and scrutinize even the faintest yellow flags; and remain hyper curious and observant about all of it.

Explore and discover

“Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose.” —Zora Neale Hurston

Perhaps the best way to learn about AI is through small, inquiry-based experiments—engaging and fun ways for kids to apply media literacy strategies, both the time-tested and newly relevant, all with the goal of becoming both curious and savvy consumers of everything being created around them.

Try our Banana Bread Experiment — a simple twist that uses a Large Language Model (LLM) like Claude.ai not to generate answers, but to surface the questions that can deepen engagement. Or test out Side-by-Side Advice and invite kids to seek advice from both a trusted adult and an AI. What feels similar? What feels different? What does that teach you about each approach?

Share what you’re learning

Comment to let us know—What have you tried? What got you and your kids talking and thinking? What more do you wish you had support with? We’d love to hear and share your ideas. The more the merrier as we navigate into the unknown together!

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